I suppose everyone has their reasons for trying to lose weight. I know I should say the reason I want to lose weight is to improve my health, be more active, and live longer. Sure those are all wonderful, healthy reasons to lose weight. I suppose they should be reason enough. Honestly for me they are some of the reasons but they aren't all the reasons. I don't even know if they are the most important reasons why I want to lose weight.
When I think about what I want to accomplish by losing weight there are many other reasons that come to mind.....
For instance, I don't want to be the fat mom. I don't want my kids' classmates to snicker when they see me. I am definitely not concerned about being considered a MILF by any stretch of the imagination but I don't want my kids to be embarrassed of me. I'd rather them be embarrassed by my behaviors rather than my size.
Speaking of kids I want to be able to go to a parent-teacher conference and not have to size up the kid sized chair I'm expected to sit in. Anyone who is a parent with even a slight weight problem has had to make that decision. "Do I sit there and risk breaking the chair or do I sit there and risk having that chair permanently stuck to my ass for the rest of my life?" It would be great to just be able to sit and not worry.
I'd like yoga pants to not be my best friend. Yoga pants have become the greatest invention for the overweight since peanut butter and chocolate came together. Yoga pants are wonderfully delusional. They have a type of exercise in the name but yet they are perfect for the inactive. They are long, stretchy, and even have this panel that eliminates the mighty muffin top. Yes yoga pants are my best friend. I'm somewhat ashamed in my love of my yoga pants. I do make the effort and wear them to actual yoga class but I also find, well I wear them all the time. I suppose I'm ready for a new best friend. I want my new best friend to be a short skirt. Not some mini but a nice above the knee skirt that I can slide on and say "Damn my legs look good". Even better, feel good when I'm wearing it. Pair it up with a nice pair of leather boots and damn that will be a nice new best friend.
Speaking of clothes. I don't want to be afraid of the dryer any more. I need to lose weight so I can put my clothes back in the dryer rather than live in fear that if they are dried I will lose that precious centimeter or so that makes them fit. When I do laundry my house starts to look like a bad thrift store. My clothes are hanging everywhere that I can find to dry them. Well everywhere except the clothesline outside. I don't want the neighbors to see that much fabric at once. I must lose weight so I can use the dryer again and use the dining room chairs for sitting not for drying.
I need to lose weight so I can wear stripes on my clothes not have them embedded in my skin from my jeans that just don't love me anymore. Sure all clothes can leave lines on your skin no matter how skinny you are but I don't want to have to give my jeans a pep talk before I get into them. "OK jeans I won't put you in the dryer tomorrow, if you don't cause me to lose a toe by cutting off the circulation to my foot." Seems fair.
I suppose I'm vain. I want to lose weight to look good. I want to go into a store and buy clothes from the normal section. I don't want to have to go find the women's section, which is for some reason is always next to petites. Yeah cause that's a wonder for self esteem. I want to go into Victoria's Secret and buy pretty bras and panties again. I don't want my color choices to be regulated to cream, black and white.
I think most importantly I want to lose weight so I can inspire others to do the same. I want to follow through with this journey that has seemed to have taken 15 years. I want to say "I did it" "I did it without drugs or surgery." I want people to know that if I can do it they can to. I want to be strong and fit. I want people at the gym to watch me work out and think "Wow that's awesome" rather than "Oh bless her heart look how hard she's working." Ladies of the south I know what that means and I am not amused.
I think being an inspiration would be pretty awesome. I want to inspire my family to eat right and get healthy. I want my kids to be active and strong. To understand that cookies are not a food group and that fruit really is a wonderful thing. I want to have a way of life that develops into a healthy way of life for them so they do not have to ever have a pep talk with their jeans or fear the dryer.
I suppose I want to be my own after photo rather than always be behind the camera. I want to smile at the person taking the picture without reservations or hesitations of what it will look like. Smile big and say "Look out world, here I am."
