For the past year my family has been currently trying out the multi-generational living arrangement. I suppose that is a nice way of saying "we are living with my mother."
This past month marked the one year anniversary of selling our home in Florida and moving in with my mom in South Carolina. Why you wonder? Unlike many people who have been forced to live with family due to financial constraints that is not the case here. We had jobs and a home that we could pay for. We were not altruistic in our move. My mom is not ill nor does she need help. As a matter of fact my mom is the most independent woman I know. It was not a case of my husband running away with his secretary and leaving me to start over with two kids. As a matter of fact I brought him with me, that poor SOB is going nowhere fast. So I am sure you are wondering why in the world did you sell your house, pack up and go move in with your mom?
I suppose the answer is pretty simple. I wanted my kids to grow up near at least one of their grandparents. I wanted my kids to grow up being close to their cousins and family. My mom had recently moved to South Carolina and my sister and her family were already here so it seemed like a good decision.
When I think about it I suppose the answer may not be as simple as I thought it was. Another reason I wanted to move was I wanted to give my husband the opportunity to pursue his dreams of writing. If we were living without a mortgage then that was an option. He could take the time he always wanted and work on the great American novel. In truth I was trying to squelch the fear that in 10 years I didn't want him to look at me and say "I gave up my dreams because of our family." Do I think he would do that? No, but that doesn't make me not fear it.
I think I was ready for a change of scenery as well. I felt the need to start over. A year or so before we decided to move one of my strongest friendships crumbled apart and I felt like I lost the ground beneath my feet. There were overwhelming feelings of hurt and loss. Could I have repaired it? I don't know. In all honesty I'm still not sure what happened. Move out of state because of a friendship ending? No, that isn't why. This is not the reason. It did make me look into the current status of my life. Many of my friends were moving away themselves. We were all changing in our lives, marrying, divorcing, getting new jobs, and growing up. I felt like I was ready for a change. I didn't want to be static so we decided to be fluid. To go with the flow and see what happened.
So here we are a year later living in our multi-generational home. Its been an interesting year. My kids are making friends and they are happy. Dave never did write his novel but he tried and that was all that mattered. I'm glad we moved. I love being close to my sister and mom again but I miss my friends. I miss the companionship of hanging out with the girls. Heck I am now even going to group exercise classes to talk to other adults and I probably go to the grocery store to talk to the people at the deli counter way more than what is considered to be normal. If someone knows the secret of making friends as a grown up I'd love to hear it.
It is funny how a 4 bedroom house can start to feel cramped with a family of five. I suppose after a year a palace could start to feel small. Sometimes I worry that I have regressed. I mean I live with my mom. Wait... I live with my mom. I'm almost 40 and I live with my mom. God there really is no good way to say that. I am staring 40 down and I am living with my mom. Yeah maybe in an effort to avoid further regression I think a home of our own will be in in order very soon.
